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I’m Sad About the First Day of School. But I’m also Excited. And Anxious. And Excited.

I’m Sad About the First Day of School. But I’m also Excited. And Anxious. And Excited.

I feel all kinds of emotions about my kids starting school. Especially about Jack starting Kindergarten. Kindergarten!

Today he said to me, “Are you sad that I’m starting Kindergarten?”

“Yes,” I told him. “I am, a little.”

“Why?” he asked, digging into the pudding cup I’d just made him open all on his own (because in Kindergarten, you’ve got to open your own pudding cups, hear?).

“Well,” I began, trying to articulate my complicated adult feelings into a sincere answer a five-year-old could grasp, “because it means you’re growing up. Because you’re getting older quicker than I expected. Because someone else is going to be in charge of you all day long. Because I’ll miss you!”

“It’s okay though,” he assured me, as always perfectly confident in his logic. “You’ll still get to take care of me two full days every week. And I’ll be home for two weeks at Christmas.”

I watched him shovel in another spoonful of pudding, his big blue eyes serious as he watched me, and I felt myself tear up a bit.

“That’s true!” I agreed. “I WILL be able to still take care of your two full days each week.”

But of course, the range of emotions I feel regarding Kindergarten don’t all fall on the sad side.

And then I felt a little guilty, because I am also excited about my kids starting school.

First Day of School

You can’t tell by this picture, but they really are BOTH excited about starting school!

You know what I learned this summer? That having the kids home all day, every day isn’t an ideal situation for me – or for my kids.

I don’t have it in me to entertain them, and it’s hard (really hard, you guys!) to get work done when the kids are under my feet. I don’t want to be that mom that says “Just a minute…let me finish working,” over and over and over again. I don’t like it. The kids don’t like it. We are not better people for it.

If it’s hard for me, imagine how hard it is for the kids. They don’t want me to tell them, “later, later, later,” every time they ask for my attention. They don’t want to be bored. They are little, and although they play very well on their own, I can’t expect them to play on their own all day long. 

And also? We are all better after we do our own thing every now and then. The kids are happier when they are stimulated and engaged and socializing. I am happier when I can focus on work, uninterrupted, and work on a project for longer than ten minutes at a time.

And I miss my kids when they are gone. I think about how quickly they are growing up, and I wonder what they are doing. I pick them up and start asking about their day before they’re even buckled in. I want to know everything, I am excited about what they learned, and I can go home and focus solely on them because I’ve had time to get things done while they were away. 

I will miss then when they’re gone. I’ll worry, and I’ll be anxious. But I am also excited about the school year. I’m excited about having time for myself, and I’m excited about the journey the kids are embarking on. Kind of like when I was a kid and I was starting the new school year myself. The first day of school is all of those things, and then some.

As I write this, the First Day of School – and my crazy mom emotions – are safely 14 hours away in the future. I don’t know how the morning will go. But as I start rounding up clothes for tomorrow and planning what I’ll pack for his lunch (at least we know he can open his own pudding cups), I can’t help but wonder which emotions will surface as I pull away from the school. Pull away from my little boy on his day of Kindergarten.

Wish me luck.

Also? Watch this. It’s amazing.



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That title just says it all. Love it. Haha! Also, he’s super smart to know that much about the calendar. 2 days off school? 2 weeks off at Christmas? Somebody’s been paying attention!

So cute… and useful, too!

That picture is great – your kids are too cute!

It really is a rollercoaster of emotions for a mom. I surprisingly teared up dropping off my 2nd grader because it was the first 1st day of school which I didn’t walk her inside. =(

I had the same feelings, it was bitter sweet to see my twins start kindergarten this week. I still picture them as two sweet, tiny little babies the Dr. placed in my arms, can’t believe how fast my babies are growing up! I hope your little one had a great first week at school…and that you survived too! ๐Ÿ™‚

I am glad that I have a few years before I have to worry about this! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hang in there, mama!

My husband and I were out of town and it was his daughter’s first day of high school. I was CFBC until I met him, so I did not experience a lot of the emotions biological mothers do. I know it was hard on her mom – who I get along with very well. Then I ran into a lady in the nail salon/blow-dry shop who was obviously not having a great morning. She finally said to me, “This is my son’s first day of Kindergarten and this is how I am dealing with it,” as she took a sip from her giant Starbucks cup. I smiled and I will write what I told my bonus daughter’s mom and the lady in the nail salon:

I am not a biological mother, so I cannot pretend to know what it is to send your child off to school. But I am a three-time cancer survivor who has worked closely with many children and teens who have not been so lucky to celebrate their first days of school. You give your children the gift of life so they can live; so they can grow. Try to focus on that celebration instead of mourning the days that pass us by. You can’t get back the moments you mourned, but you can always smile upon the ones you celebrated.

Congratulations to you for having two beautiful, healthy children you can send off to school. That is the stuff many dreams are made of.

Just seeing the cute photo of your kids – I had to read this post ๐Ÿ™‚
I still have years before facing this situation

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