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Tips for Budgeting when Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Budget

One of the main reasons we budget is because my husband and I used to fight about money…a lot! We both had different ideas of what we should spend our money on, and we didn’t do a great job of consulting each other before making expensive purchases. We were spending from the same account, but we had completely different agendas.

I can proudly say that those days are over. But to be honest, money is still something that we don’t always see eye-to-eye on – I would buy ALL THE SHIRTS AND PENS at Target if I could, and my husband would buy ALL THE CRAFT BEER if it were up to him.

Our budget – which we agree on every month – keeps us on the same page and gives us room to spend money on ourselves each month, too.

But what if your significant other isn’t on the same page? What if they don’t want to watch their spending, or sit down at the table with you each month to talk about money?

I can’t tell you how to get your partner on-board.

But I can give you some ideas for budgeting with a reluctant partner.

1. Make sure there is spending money worked into your monthly budget. If your partner is a spender, make it very clear that they can still spend…you just need to decide how MUCH they’re going to spend that month, and plan for it. We budget $100 apiece each month for spending money (yours could be much lower, or much higher!). If we have something expensive coming up, we adjust accordingly. If this is a real sticking point, see if you can agree on a generous “allowance” amount for each of you – and then take it from there.
2. Keep a list of your bills, when they’re due, how much they are, and how to pay them (just listing the login and pasword for each account should be sufficient for that) – and then put it somewhere safe and let your spouse know about it. That way, if there’s ever an emergency and you’re unable to pay the bills, your partner can easily take over where you left off – which can keep bills from piling up.
3. Make the budget yourself and ask your partner to review it. This at LEAST gets them looking at how much you have vs. how much you spend, and could be helpful in getting them more engaged. It might even be the reality check they need to get on-board with your budget.
4. Ask your partner to choose one saving goal that you can work on together. Maybe this can open the lines of communication and get you working as a team on at least one piece of the budget.

I would love to hear what tips you have for budgeting if you don’t have a supportive partner. This is a popular topic in our Facebook group – please come share your thoughts or find out what others are doing!

Also, you can always reply directly to these emails if you have something to say or want to contact me. Thanks for being here! <3


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