A few months ago, one of my friends emailed me to see if I had any gift ideas for a new mom. She was going to see the baby in the hospital, and she wanted to take a gift specifically for the mother.
That got me thinking.
What do you get a new mom? I mean, I know the baby is the prize at the end of a long journey and all, but being a new mom is tough work….it feels good to be appreciated. It feels even better to be helped.
So with that in mind, here are 10 ways you can help a new mom adjust to motherhood (or just show her you love and support her).
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1. Be helpful when you visit. Tell her you would *love* to hold the baby while she takes a shower. and then do just that. Put a load of dishes away. Take out the trash. Get her a drink. Entertain the older child(ren) for a few minutes so she can have some peace.
2. Feed her. Bring her a meal that she can freeze, or eat that night. If you don’t cook, bring her something from her favorite restaurant.
3. Bring a new toy for the older child or children. A new book or game (or DVD) for the older kids might buy her some quiet time.
4. Bring a basket of snack foods. Granola bars, cookies (the healthy kind, of course), water bottles…all things that will give her some fuel – and that she can eat with one hand. These babies don’t always like to be put down.
5. Give her a practical gift. You know what my mother-in-law brought to the hospital when I had my son? Nursing pads. I had never thought to purchase any. You know what I totally needed a few days later? Nursing pads.
6. Take pictures of the baby and email (or text) them to her the same day. If she’ll let you, take some pictures of her with the baby (I would have yelled at you if you tried to take pictures of me with the baby right after she was born, but that’s dumb…I wish I had more pictures of myself from that time).
7. Give her a gift to remind her of herself. Does she like to read? Bring a book. Does she like music? Bring her an iTunes gift card (she can use that to download apps on her phone, which she’ll probably be spending a lot of time on when she’s rocking the baby!). Everything is very baby-baby-baby after a baby is born…it’s nice to acknowledge the “old” part of a new mom!
8. Ask how she’s doing. And don’t just ask…listen. Some moms bounce right back into the swing of things after their baby is born. Others take awhile longer. But all new moms go through a rough few weeks as hormones settle down…ask about her!
9. Don’t stay too long. Even if you’re BFFs For Life…don’t wear out your welcome. The first few weeks are exhausting, and all the visitors can take a toll and put pressure on a new mom who’s trying to figure out a new life balance.
10. Run errands for her. If you see the kids are out of juice, run to the store and get some for her. Ask if she’s running low on anything or needs any prescriptions picked up and then take care of it for her. Once my husband went back to work, I found the task of leaving the house to run errands with a newborn daunting…I’d stay home and starve rather than venture out with a fussy baby to the grocery store.
So, are you wondering which one I recommended for my friend?
It was #4 – take a basket of snacks.
What would you add to this list? What kinds of things did people do for you after your baby was born that you needed and appreciated?
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My MIL loaded us down with food, which was nice because I was not up for cooking. I also had a friend bring me two huge boxes of diapers in different sizes.
I ended up being so grateful for the diapers in my diaper cake when Jack was born! They were all different sizes, and when I’d run out I’d just take some from the diaper cake!
I love all of these ideas… it’s been so long since I was a new mom.
I love all of these ideas… it’s been so long since I was a new mom.
These are some really fantastic tips. I like #1 the very best, it is so hard to get a bath whenever you have a newborn.
I know! The doctor recommended taking several (several…hahahah!) sitz baths a day after Jack was born and I barely manged to get just a few minutes in the tub a day.
Great list! My mom came and vacuumed and ran errands! That was awesome!
I totally sent my mom on errands for me!
What great ideas! I had no family or close friends living near me when I had my son, but would have loved to have had someone do some of these for me. 🙂
Oh, that’s rough, I can’t imagine! It was so nice to have all the help.
Great list. I would have killed for some sanity, but sadly they were out at Target!
Yeah, it’s unfortunate. There’s never enough of that to go around!
Hi Carrie!
I love your blog – and it was great meeting you at Blissdom! Yes, I work for the California Strawberry Commission, but I’m also a blogger at Garlic Girl and just wanted to make sure we stay connected!
Jodi
Thanks for stopping by, Jodi! And let’s definitely stay in touch! 🙂
I am a fresh new mom (again) my baby boy will be 1 month tomorrow! This topic is near and dear to me. I love it when others serve me during this time and I love serving other moms. Especially first time moms who really don’t know what to ask for. I love # 2, #5 and #7!
Congratulations, I miss having a squishy little newborn! <3
These are great tips! Off to pin this…..
Thank you, Jessica!
Great post! These are all thoughtful things you could do for a new mother! I especially love #3. Sometimes older children are forgotten in the excitement of new little ones, so it’s important to make them feel special, too.
I still remember one of my mom’s friends bringing me a gift when my youngest sister was born. I loved it!
Can I just say AMEN!!! I loved when people let me shower!!!
Right?!
OMG! your mother in law sounds amazing!!! does she give lessons? 😉
Hmmm…I should totally hire her out! Lol!
This could be the best post ever. My daughter was a ‘surprise’. I never meant to have any children… so during my pregnancy I was about done with all the baby love. When friends or family members did things practical for me it really just made all the difference in the world, it was exactly what I needed.
Thanks for linking up with Spread the Love!
The practical help is what helped me the most, too…I sometimes would push back and not want help, but as soon as I got some I realized how much better my life was!
These are really good ideas. One of my friends would organize meal trains for some of the friends in the group who had babies, so people could come over and bring food to help out.
I love that idea! And it would have been awesome as a new mom to be on the receiving end of all that generosity!
Great suggestions, thanks! Just getting into newborn photography with a few friends’ babies, so these are some great ideas to also be helpful. (Seen on It’s Party Time link up.)
Newborn photography is the best! I can get lost on photographer’s blogs if they have lots of newborn pictures. <3
Thanks, Carrie! Definitely a fun line of work to get into. No newborn shots up on my blog yet, but lots of practical photography advice for all situations.
This is great! Especially about bringing a meal and not staying too long 🙂
What a great list! I just had my 3rd baby in January and I agree with all the things you listed completely 🙂
Congrats on the new baby Kimberly!! <3
What a great list! I am about to have my first baby and this list is great for friends and family 🙂
Congrats!! <3
This list is great! New mothers can feel a bit “left out” with everyone oohing and ahhing over a new baby. I definitely agree with the visitors one. We live out of state away from both of our families, so hubby’s parents were here the first 2 weeks and my mom and one of my aunts were here the 3rd. Big mistake. Never again. While it was nice to have some help with the chores, it was extremely overwhelming because we’re not used to having overnight visitors ever…let alone that long. Not to mention it was my first baby too!
Oh you poor thing! That would have overwhelmed me too. The postpartum period – especially with your first – is exhausting and emotional. A houseguest would have been really hard on me during that time, too. With my second baby, I begged my mom to stay for a week and help out with the toddler (my husband had a new job and we moved when Baby #2 was 6 days old, so I really needed help).